School;

As of right now school is going better I guess. I keep getting side-tracked with things outside of school, such as work; Nippon Project, and Thunder Valley. I've been studyind harder though, but to me is seems no matter how much I study I can never get a high enough grade, and that bothers me greatly. I can do well in school, with classwork, and homework, etc. But when it comes to test's and quizzes I don't do so great. But I know plenty of people that can't test well but also do great in school. I'm not really sure why though. But I'll keep trying to do my best.
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Ab sofort ist die Schule besser läuft, denke ich. Ich erhalte die Meldung der Seite mit den Dingen außerhalb der Schule verfolgt, wie Arbeit, Nippon Project und Thunder Valley. Ich habe aber studyind schwieriger, aber für mich ist, scheint egal wie viel ich studiere ich kann nie eine ausreichend hohe Qualität, und das stört mich sehr. Ich kann mir gut in der Schule zu tun, mit Klassenarbeiten und Hausaufgaben, etc. Aber wenn es darum geht, zu testen und Quizzes Ich tue nicht so groß. Aber ich kenne eine Menge Leute, die sich nicht testen, sondern auch gut tun, in der Schule groß. Ich bin nicht wirklich sicher, warum though. Aber ich werde immer wieder versuchen, mein Bestes tun.

Geometry 2. & Family Life.

So I've been doing better in Geometry I guess. I've been getting better grades and paying better attention. Though I don't fully know how long it will take to bring my grade up completely. The last thing I want to do is go to summer school. Bleck. My mom has been offering to get me a tutor, and I do remember having a math tutor my 7th grade year, she was nice and all, but I would get too frustrated with her because I felt like she wasn't teaching me correctly, when in the end it was just me refusing to learn. I need to become better at taking advice as well. It is a little difficult though. I was always one of those people to only hear what I want to hear.

Speaking of that;

My parents tend to tell me things and then forget, so when I bring it up they disagree with me and tell me that they didn't say it. Well I know a lot of parents say that, but honestly, you REALLY DO say those things, you've just forgotten. I CANNOT stand it when I'm trying to tell my parents something that they've said and they disagree, especially when my step dad says "Kids only hear what they want to hear." It pisses me off. I tend to go off on him too. I'm not to fond of my step dad and he's not to fond of me, that's just how it is. It pisses me off even more when weeks later they realize that they did say whatever it was I told them they did, but it's too late to do anything about it. THEY DON'T APOLOGIZE EITHER. Thus, another reason being why I'm never having kids. Its just like how can you treat your kids like crap and still expect them to want to live or be with you. I just can't understand. I cannot wait till I move out and finally get some peace and quiet. Of course I'll be homesick for a couple of weeks after that, but that's normal. I just get so sick and tired of the way my parents treat me sometimes. Running away seems to overrated, and my life is a little to good to runaway from. I can go live with my dad if I want to, but that would require switching school and going through a whole bunch of paper work. I was on the verge of moving to my dad's once, and THEN my mom told me she didn't want me to leave. Even though I new my step dad did. Which is another EXTREME reason as to why I want to get out of that house; the step dad. Sometimes I wish everything could just go back to the way it was. When everything was good and everyone loved each other, you know? I'm sure everyone wishes for something like that in their lives. I just want things to be different. I love my step dad, don't get me wrong, but I just dont respect the way he treats me, my brother, and my mom sometimes. Sometimes I feel I need a new life.

Xo-海田

[[Sorry I just had to rant there for a second.]]

Swine Flu.

At my school a few months ago we had to get our parents to fill out a form allowing us to get the H1N1 vaccine. So I get mine filled out, even though I hate shots/nasal spray, and so does half of my friends. Well we are just now getting this vaccine, it's been months. Does anyone else see the problem there? It's barely even going around my school anymore. And I can understand how it was such a big deal, so companies and hospitals were a little low on the vaccine. That's completely understandable. I just think it's weird that they would give us the vaccine like 3 months after we filled out the form to get it. They are giving two types here at my school, the shot and the nasal spray. You can only get the shot if you have asthma or heart problems. So that leaves me and half of my friends with the nasal spray. My best friend told me that when you go to get it the lady will tell you it will feel like you're drowning......am I the only one who see's something majorly wrong with that picture? That just makes me even more worried about it, and the fact that they are shooting the live virus into you so you can become immune to it. I'm trying not to get the swine flu, so why in the world are they shooting it up my nose? Especially while it's still live and working. When Taylor got the spray earlier this morning she said it wasn't that bad, that it just felt like nose spray, which I thought was good, because nose spray isn't that bad, but she also told me that it smells awful. Some people can taste it afterwards. I'm like all of this just so I MIGHT not get sick? To me it's not worth it. People at other high schools have had major side effects of the spray, including: passing out, vommiting, etc. Nope, no way, I don't want to have to deal with all of that. It's stupid. Then again I don't like shots either, so we'll see how this plays out. I mean we're teenagers for crying out loud, it's like we're going through all of this stuff and we don't even know if we'll end up catching it later on.

Geometry.

I hate Geometry, I'm not kidding, I loathe it. Geometry is one of those subjects for me where it just doesn't click. English and World History are my best subjects, but Geometry...not so much. I've been going through a lot lately, and I've been really upset. It's been hard for me, and when I get to school I try to get my mind off of things and hang out with friends, but as soon as I step into my Geometry room it all goes down hill for me. Not just because I don't understand it, but because no one will HELP me understand it. I ask my Geometry teacher for help everyday, sometime's she'll help and sometimes she won't. I can't stand it. I can understand where she is coming from though. It's just that the way she teaches it, I can't understand it. I can probably understand it if it was tought a different way, but it isn't. When I stay after for help it doesn't get me any further, I still can't comprehend what's on my paper. So I start failing the class, and don't you hate it when you get help from a teacher, and they say you've improved and such then you get your grades and they aren't that great so they give you this long lecture about how you could be doing better and what you need to work on, like they never gave you help or supported you in the first place? It's dumb. Then they make you feel like you're stupid, it just upsets me. I give my grades to my parents and they get all pissed because I'm failing. It's like, I don't see you trying to do anything to help me? I can't stand it! Then they give you lectures on how you could do better and not to talk back to them. It's extremely hard on me. It makes me feel like everyone is dissapointed in me just because I'm failing Geometry. It's like I need help but no one is there to offer it to me. It's upsetting.