Niedlich oder? :P

Lately.

Lately I've been really out of it. I don't really know how to explain it.

I've been feeling this way for a while.

Unfortunately I know the cause of it, but there is nothing I can do.

I hate being stressed out. It seems like everyday I wake up and I dread what's to come. It's not supposed to be like that is it?

I get depressed and I don't know what to do. Talking about it sometimes makes me feel good, but the one person I trust to tell isn't with me all the time.

I just feel like I'm falling apart and there's nothing that can help me.

I put on a fake smile everyday and it's starting to take it's toll on me.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Tuesday.

I have come to realize that I'm getting tons of profile views, but no one is really following. So I'm going to try my hardest to make this blog entertaining and post everday. Though I can't guarentee that everyday something interesting will be posted. But I'll try my hardest. I will also try and correct my German. xD

I want to make more German friends, so if you're German, talk to me! xD

Re-thinking things.

As of right now, I'm not entirely sure what's going on in my life. I've been thinking things through, and quite honestly I'm not entirely sure if moving to Japan would be best for me. I've been wanted to move to Japan for the longest time because I'm so in love with everything there. The culture, people, language, and music. It has always been my life goal to make it to Japan. But I've realized that my Japanese isn't that good. It's hard to learn this language, no matter how much I study or practice I just can't get it.

My German on the other hand, is going so well. Maybe it's because I've been paying better attention in class, or maybe it's due to my best friend who lives in Germany. Even though when I talk to him we talk in English, I think wanting to be able to communicate with him pushes me to try my hardest in German. I've realized that maybe moving to Germany (which was my dream as a little girl) will be best for me. My German has improved immensely, and I feel like this is what I need to do.

I'm worried about my grades and G.P.A. I've talked to the teachers in school about choosing the right college for this dream of mine but I'm not entirely sure if it'll work out. I'm not saying I have a bad G.P.A but it's not the best and not as high as everyone else's. At this time it seems that all I can do is pray.