Friday, December 10, 2010

I'm not entirely sure what to say...

Just sitting in class, I would have never thought that my best friend would be sitting at home crying her eyes out. I've told her not to cry, so hopefully she listens. This morning, Taku from Heisei Ishin passed away unexpectedly. No explanation at this time as been given. I'm not entirely sure what to say. Heisei Ishin was a great band, and Taku was just so happy. His smile was beautiful, and his personality two times that. What do I say at a time like this. All I know is that this year has been horrible. There has been too many deaths this year. I really just don't know what to say. Please rest in peace dear. God, we love you.

Monday, November 1, 2010


Today is the ceremony for my Uncle John. It’s still hard to believe that he’s gone. How did this happen? Everything still seems so surreal to me. Now I have no one to argue with on politics, not that I was ever interested in politics, or about the end of the world, or cigarettes. Just holding a cigarette could calm him down. He never actually needed the nicotine.

I want to tell you a little about myself. I’m not very strong willed, and I give up easily. I procrastinate, and cry like a baby when something doesn’t go my way. I yell at my mother when I’m angry, and lock my door on my father when he’s telling me to do something I don’t want to do. I’ll make up lies to get out of something, and lie to get what I want. My friends come and go. I have different interests than what kids at school do. I’m completely random and say the most embarrassing things. I really need to learn to think before I speak.

Now let me tell you a little about my Uncle John. He’s strong willed, and always pushes himself to get what he wants. He does not procrastinate, or cry like a baby when things don’t go his way. He always keeps his cool, and never locks his door when he’s told to do something that he doesn’t want to do. He never lies. His friends always stayed by his side. His interest seemed to impress people. He’s usually not so random, and always knows what he’s going to say next.

How are you related you say?

I don’t know myself.

Uncle John was the uncle that was never afraid to speak his mind. If I try to speak my mind, I always get yelled at. Though Uncle John never did. I guess people were just afraid to speak back to that strong willed man, haha. My Uncle was gay, but you couldn’t tell by looking at him, or even hearing him speak. He was always treated with the most respect in the family.

We only ever gave him socks or boxers for Christmas, because that’s the only thing he ever asked for. I remember last year, when I was 15, he gave me a fairy, a purple fairy with beads. I stared at him and asked him what I was going to do with it. It was made out of plastic and just used for a decoration. He told me it was special. He was right, it is special…and it’s sitting next to me right now. Though it’s creepy eyes still watch everything I do. Kind of like he always did.

You would always watch over me, and make sure I was safe and cared for. I never really got to say thank you. So thank you Uncle John.

It’s still so hard to say goodbye. You always drank Coke. And you always had at least 2, 2 liters of Coke sitting on your counter at home. So I’m drinking Coke now, and from now on, I’ll always keep a couple of liters of Coke on my counter. Not that it’s really of any importance, I just want something to remember you by, besides this creepy fairy. And we both like Coke, so I figured that maybe Coke was the best way to go.

I remember watching The Backyardigans while at Grandma’s house, and you walking into the room singing the theme song saying you liked it too. I can’t help but chuckle. Dora, you didn’t like so much right? Or was that Go Diego Go? Ahh, I can’t remember, but we both also liked Blues Clues. You were always better at finding the paw prints than I was. I’m still mad at you for that.

I can’t even look at Zoe, or any of my other dogs without thinking of you. I swear you loved those dogs more than you loved any of us, haha. :)

Uncle John, mother misses you.

Why didn’t you tell any of us that you were sick, and how did you hide the symptoms so well? I swear, if I would have noticed one thing, one tiny symptom, I would have done everything in my power to make you well again. But you’re so good at hiding things, and masking your emotions. You fooled us all into thinking you were healthy. Were you just thinking of us? Not wanting to make us stressed? You shouldn’t have thought that way, you know we would help you out no matter what, we’re family remember?

In the closing chapter of my Grandmothers life, you lived with her, and took care of her. My mother was busy with work, and so was my Aunt Debbie, no one really had time to help out, till it got too much for you to handle, which to me was a shock. Uncle John, you could handle anything. You were my personal super hero. Hearing my mother cry while she’s alone, and seeing my aunts exhausted face has now come to take it’s toll on me. I’m writing this because I never took the time to tell you while we were sharing the same air. You’re lucky, maybe the air where you are is not as polluted as it is here. It really is hard to tell someone how you feel to their face. I just wish I would have realized that sooner. I still have so much to say to you, so if one day, you see that I’m talking to myself, I’m most likely talking to you. So don’t think I’m crazy.

So now, in the closing chapter of your life, I must tell you that I love you. I guess I should cry now before the ceremony today right? I’m a little bit too loud when I cry, and you always picked on me for that. How is it that you’re gone, you were only 45 years old. It scares me to think of how young you are. It shouldn’t be this way, and it shouldn’t have happened. I really need you to understand that it’s hard for me right now. I’m not angry that you left, I’m angry that I procrastinated once again and didn’t talk to you as much before you passed. I should have taken more of an initiative to talk to you. It seems we slowly started to fade apart after Grandma passed. I know that was hard on you too. But you did so well in staying strong for me. Now I’m learning from you and staying strong for mom. It is hard, but I know I can do it.

I love you Uncle John, and I’ll think about you daily. I must go now, I have school in the morning, and mom will yell at me again if I sleep in. You know how she gets. (I’m gonna try and talk out of going to school in the morning. Shhh.) I wonder if I can be as condescending as you were. Wish me luck.

So goodnight, and I’ll see you soon. ;)

With love,

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

4 from Japan, 3 from Germany.

Alriiiiiigghhttttt. ;)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Niedlich oder? :P


Lately I've been really out of it. I don't really know how to explain it.
I've been feeling this way for a while.
Unfortunately I know the cause of it, but there is nothing I can do.
I hate being stressed out. It seems like everyday I wake up and I dread what's to come. It's not supposed to be like that is it?
I get depressed and I don't know what to do. Talking about it sometimes makes me feel good, but the one person I trust to tell isn't with me all the time.
I just feel like I'm falling apart and there's nothing that can help me.
I put on a fake smile everyday and it's starting to take it's toll on me.
I don't know what to do anymore.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I have come to realize that I'm getting tons of profile views, but no one is really following. So I'm going to try my hardest to make this blog entertaining and post everday. Though I can't guarentee that everyday something interesting will be posted. But I'll try my hardest. I will also try and correct my German. xD

I want to make more German friends, so if you're German, talk to me! xD

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Re-thinking things.

As of right now, I'm not entirely sure what's going on in my life. I've been thinking things through, and quite honestly I'm not entirely sure if moving to Japan would be best for me. I've been wanted to move to Japan for the longest time because I'm so in love with everything there. The culture, people, language, and music. It has always been my life goal to make it to Japan. But I've realized that my Japanese isn't that good. It's hard to learn this language, no matter how much I study or practice I just can't get it.

My German on the other hand, is going so well. Maybe it's because I've been paying better attention in class, or maybe it's due to my best friend who lives in Germany. Even though when I talk to him we talk in English, I think wanting to be able to communicate with him pushes me to try my hardest in German. I've realized that maybe moving to Germany (which was my dream as a little girl) will be best for me. My German has improved immensely, and I feel like this is what I need to do.

I'm worried about my grades and G.P.A. I've talked to the teachers in school about choosing the right college for this dream of mine but I'm not entirely sure if it'll work out. I'm not saying I have a bad G.P.A but it's not the best and not as high as everyone else's. At this time it seems that all I can do is pray.

Monday, August 30, 2010


I'm nervous about moving to Japan on my own. D:
But I'm excited at the same time.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


It's been a while since I've posted, which I apologize for. I haven't had much time to get on lately, but I have been working on some things. A lot of drama is going on at school which I am trying to get stay out of since I have more important things to worry about. I'm really happy about where my life is headed right now though. I'm still working on bringing my grades up in school, but other than that I'm having the best time. I have so many plans for the future(: I don't really know where I'm going to go to college though, my parents want me to stay in the U.S. But I have so many friends, and so many opportunities if I study outside of the U.S. It's my dream to go to Germany for college, but my mom says no. But it's my dream, not hers...right? I've made a lot of new friends in Germany as well, which is a lot of fun talking to them. Especially one in particular<3

I've had the hardest time these past couple of days with work, but I'm sure I'll get through it. So I brought up my grade in German class, which I'm extremely stoked about. Though my English grade is falling behind again, which really sucks because that's my best subject, and I need to bring up my Biology. But I'm doing a whole lot better in Geometry. Haa. Pretty much my life is a work in progress. But I'll reach my goals someday. (:

Es ist eine Weile her, seit ich gepostet habe, die ich für zu entschuldigen. Ich habe nicht viel Zeit, um auf Zeit zu bekommen, aber ich habe ein paar Sachen gearbeitet. Eine Menge Dramatik ist los in der Schule, die ich versuchen, erhalten bei einem Aufenthalt von da habe ich wichtigere Dinge zu kümmern bin. Ich bin wirklich glücklich darüber, wo mein Leben ist jetzt zwar recht geleitet. Ich arbeite immer noch auf meine Noten bringen in der Schule, aber anders als das Ich habe die beste Zeit. Ich habe so viele Pläne für die Zukunft (: Ich weiß wirklich nicht, wohin ich gehe, um aufs College zu gehen wenn, möchte, dass meine Eltern mich in den USA zu bleiben, aber ich habe so viele Freunde und so viele Chancen, wenn ich studiere außerhalb der USA Es ist meine Traum, nach Deutschland zu studieren, aber meine Mutter sagt nein. Aber es ist meine Traum, nicht ihr ... richtig? Ich habe eine Menge neue Freunde in Deutschland als auch, was eine Menge ist Spaß mit ihnen zu sprechen. Vor allem ein insbesondere<3

Ich habe die härteste Zeit in den letzten paar Tagen mit der Arbeit, aber ich bin sicher, ich werde durch sie erhalten hatte. So brachte ich mein grade in deutschen Klasse, der ich bin äußerst besorgt über geschürt. Obwohl mein Englisch ist grade wieder zurückfallen, die wirklich beschissen, weil das ist mein bestes Fach, und ich brauche, um meine Biologie. Aber ich mache sehr viel besser in der Geometrie. Haa. So ziemlich mein Leben ist ein work in progress. Aber ich werde meine Ziele eines Tages zu erreichen. (:

Monday, March 29, 2010


As of right now school is going better I guess. I keep getting side-tracked with things outside of school, such as work; Nippon Project, and Thunder Valley. I've been studyind harder though, but to me is seems no matter how much I study I can never get a high enough grade, and that bothers me greatly. I can do well in school, with classwork, and homework, etc. But when it comes to test's and quizzes I don't do so great. But I know plenty of people that can't test well but also do great in school. I'm not really sure why though. But I'll keep trying to do my best.
Ab sofort ist die Schule besser läuft, denke ich. Ich erhalte die Meldung der Seite mit den Dingen außerhalb der Schule verfolgt, wie Arbeit, Nippon Project und Thunder Valley. Ich habe aber studyind schwieriger, aber für mich ist, scheint egal wie viel ich studiere ich kann nie eine ausreichend hohe Qualität, und das stört mich sehr. Ich kann mir gut in der Schule zu tun, mit Klassenarbeiten und Hausaufgaben, etc. Aber wenn es darum geht, zu testen und Quizzes Ich tue nicht so groß. Aber ich kenne eine Menge Leute, die sich nicht testen, sondern auch gut tun, in der Schule groß. Ich bin nicht wirklich sicher, warum though. Aber ich werde immer wieder versuchen, mein Bestes tun.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


From now on, I think I'm just going to translate my posts into German until my Japanese gets better, because as you can see my Japanese is horrible, haha. I have a long way to go, but I'm still learning.

Anyway I believe I have a new obsession;

I'm not kidding, my new found love.
WAIT, I still love Ruki.
But TOP is another.

Von nun an, ich glaube, ich werde einfach meine Beiträge in Deutsch, bis mein Japanisch immer besser übersetzen, denn wie Sie mein Japanisch ist schrecklich, kann sehen, haha. Ich habe einen langen Weg vor uns, aber ich lerne immer noch.

Jedenfalls habe ich glaube, ich habe eine neue Leidenschaft;


Ich mache keine Witze, meine neue Liebe gefunden.
Warten Sie, I still love Ruki.
Aber TOP ist eine andere.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

All I can say;

I'm not entirely sure how I should feel right now.
Everytime I ask mom she says "I'll let you know tomorrow." and it's been like 3 days now.
This is a big decision, which I understand, but she needs to give me an answer.
I'm hoping to go to Nashville, Tennessee for a Anime Convention, but not just to Cosplay, because I won't be cosplaying during this convention, but to work with a Japanese band, and help sell the merchandise and set up for concerts, etc.
This is a great way to start off my career in the music industry.
I only have 2 more weeks till I can't register.
This is driving me crazy.
I'm so nervous. I can't even think straight.
Gah, I hate this feeling.

Japanese (Still working on it, correct me if I'm wrong):

Ich bin nicht ganz sicher, wie ich jetzt das Gefühl haben sollte.Jedesmal, wenn ich fragen, Mutter, sagt sie: "Ich lasse dich wissen, was morgen." und es ist wie 3 Tage jetzt.Dies ist eine große Entscheidung, die ich verstehen, aber sie braucht, um mir eine Antwort geben.Ich hoffe, nach Nashville zu gehen, Tennessee für eine Anime-Convention, aber nicht nur für Cosplay, weil ich nicht werden cosplayst während dieser Konvention, sondern sich mit einer japanischen Band zu arbeiten, und helfen, verkaufen die Waren und Einrichtung für Konzerte usw.Dies ist eine großartige Möglichkeit, beginnen meine Karriere in der Musikbranche.Ich habe nur 2 Wochen, bis ich kann nicht registriert werden.Das macht mich verrückt.Ich bin so nervös. Ich kann nicht einmal mehr klar denken.Gah, ich hasse dieses Gefühl.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I'm excited as always.
Working on another review for work, and it's coming along great.
I'm turning it in by the end of the week.
I'm a little nervous about this one though, since my last one was a little too personal, I need to make this one more professional. Hopefully I'll be able to do it without putting my opinion in after every other sentence >.<;;
I'm so excited about this job no one even understands!
Hopefully when I'm older I'll get a job working for Jrock Revolution, that is my dream right now.
Oh and meeting Ruki.
Which I KNOW I will someday!

Japanese (Still working on it, correct me if I'm wrong):
私はいつものように興奮している。作業仕事を別の評価で、それに沿って素晴らしい来るのよ。私は今週末までに転換だ。私は少しもこの1つの詳細については、私の最後の1以来、緊張は少しも個人的な、私はこの1つのより専門的なように必要なことだったよ。うまくいけば、私は私の意見をかけることなくそれをすることができます他のすべての文の後 >.<;;

Ich bin wie immer begeistert. Arbeiten auf einem anderen Beitrag für die Arbeit, und es kommt auf groß.Ich bin Drehen in der Ende der Woche.Ich bin ein wenig nervös, wenn Sie diese ein, da meine letzte war ein wenig zu persönlich, ich machen das ein professioneller müssen. Hoffentlich werde ich in der Lage sein, ohne dass es meiner Meinung nach nicht in jedem zweiten Satz >.<;;
Ich bin so zu dieser Aufgabe die keiner versteht, auch aufgeregt!Ich hoffe, wenn ich älter bin, werde ich eine Arbeit bei Jrock Revolution bekommen, dass mein Traum ist es, gerade jetzt.Oh, und Treffen Ruki.
Was ich weiß, ich werde eines Tages!


From now on I'm going to be translating my posts into Japanese and German.
Since those are the only other two languages I know, I figured for the people who read my blog around the world, I would translate for them.
((Sorry for the people who don't speak Japanese, German, or even English for that matter.))

Japanese (Still working on it, correct me if I'm wrong):

Von nun an werde ich meine Beiträge werden übersetzt in Japanisch und Deutsch.Da es sich hierbei sind die einzigen beiden anderen Sprachen, die ich weiß, ich dachte für die Menschen, die mein Blog rund um die Welt zu lesen, ich würde für sie zu übersetzen.((Sorry für die Leute, die nicht sprechen Japanisch, Deutsch, Englisch oder auch nur für diese Angelegenheit.))

Monday, March 15, 2010


It's one thing if you're "just kidding," but lying to me is a totally different story.
You know what I mean?
And I'm sure everyone feels the same way about this.

If you don't like being lied to, then don't lie to other people.
A close friend of mine recently lied to me, and not on something small.
He lied to both me and Taylor, which I do not appreciate at all.

He told me and Taylor the exact same things, but just switched up the names.
I don't really want to tell the whole world what exactly the lie was, but let's just say that it hurt us, both.

Now normally I wouldn't get so worked up about something like this, but if I lie to him, which I never do, because honestly I hate lying more than anything, but if I lie to him, he'll get pissed. Which I completely understand because he has the right to be. Yet when he lies to Taylor and I, and we get pissed, he acts like it's all our fault. Same as when we try to confront him about it, he'll just walk away.

Now I know for a fact that, that is not a good friend example.

Right now I just think it would be best if he let me cool down for a while, meaning I'll be leaving him alone, for quite some time.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


I was finally able to send in my review for NP. Which I'm pretty excited about. Hopefully she'll like it.
Right now I just need a couple of days off from EVERYTHING, to work on studying Japanese. I'm either AT school, WORKING on school stuff or just WORKING in general. I really would just love 2 to 3 days off to do nothing but study for Japanese. I would truly love that, but that won't be coming till spring break, which even then I'll probably only get one day. Since I'll be working most likely.
I also need to figure out a way to meet up with Keiri. That's one of my main goals as of yet.
It's 12:11 a.m and I'm posting this because I felt like I needed to get a few things off my chest, which I pretty much just did. It wasn't much but it still held meaning. Don't you think?
Well anyway, thanks for your time.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Beyond Excited

So, yesterday I finally got the email!
I had sent in a email and applied for a job with Nippon Project.
A project that works to spread Japanese music throughout the world.
I finally got the email saying that I would be good in working for them.
All I have to do is send in a review so she (being the head lady) can see my writing skills and how I would be writing reviews.
Whether it be on Albums or Concerts.
Which of course I am writing a review on an Album because I have not been to a Jrock concert, (yet).
I'm so excited about this.
This is my first job ever working with music.
And I'm NOT going to mess this up.
Nope, never.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

It's been a while.

Sorry I haven't gotten to post anything in a while. I've been extremely busy lately, between school and work it's hard to keep up.
I've also been trying to figure out how to add new widgets to this blog, not just the ones that come with it when you click on "customize" because those are all original, so for a while my blog will be under construction! But I'll still be posting of course.
I've been getting into newer music, especially Korean, and you can thank my friend Keiri for that! She introduced me to a Japanese boy band (which are way better than American boy bands) called "TVXQ!" You should really check them out.
I've seemed to have gotten addicted to them. Well them and G-Dragon, he's pretty amazing as well.
I've been working on my other blog as well.
Check it out[:
It's mostly just my choices of music and updates about those bands.
I want to add more to the blog, but I'm still trying to figure out what it is I want to add.
I've just been so busy lately it's hard to find time to do anything anymore.
I remember when I always used to complain about being so bored with nothing to do, then all of a sudden I was swamped with work, from a bunch of differen't things.
But I love taking a break and talking to one of my close friends Keiri. I really hope we get to hang out soon, it sucks that she lives to far away, but we make up for the distance by talking on webcam.
She's moving to Tokyo next summer, which I'm pretty bummed about.
I really hope we stay in touch!
She said she would send me postcards and stuff! Which I am pretty excited about. I told her I would send her postcards from the U.S, haha.
Well that's all I really have to say for now, so I'll post again soon!
For the time being I'll show you new pictures I've taken, of me and of other things.
As well as pictures of some of my favorite artists.

(I love this picture, I hope you do as well.)

(He's so cute, I love you Ruki-kun.)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Geometry 2. & Family Life.

So I've been doing better in Geometry I guess. I've been getting better grades and paying better attention. Though I don't fully know how long it will take to bring my grade up completely. The last thing I want to do is go to summer school. Bleck. My mom has been offering to get me a tutor, and I do remember having a math tutor my 7th grade year, she was nice and all, but I would get too frustrated with her because I felt like she wasn't teaching me correctly, when in the end it was just me refusing to learn. I need to become better at taking advice as well. It is a little difficult though. I was always one of those people to only hear what I want to hear.

Speaking of that;

My parents tend to tell me things and then forget, so when I bring it up they disagree with me and tell me that they didn't say it. Well I know a lot of parents say that, but honestly, you REALLY DO say those things, you've just forgotten. I CANNOT stand it when I'm trying to tell my parents something that they've said and they disagree, especially when my step dad says "Kids only hear what they want to hear." It pisses me off. I tend to go off on him too. I'm not to fond of my step dad and he's not to fond of me, that's just how it is. It pisses me off even more when weeks later they realize that they did say whatever it was I told them they did, but it's too late to do anything about it. THEY DON'T APOLOGIZE EITHER. Thus, another reason being why I'm never having kids. Its just like how can you treat your kids like crap and still expect them to want to live or be with you. I just can't understand. I cannot wait till I move out and finally get some peace and quiet. Of course I'll be homesick for a couple of weeks after that, but that's normal. I just get so sick and tired of the way my parents treat me sometimes. Running away seems to overrated, and my life is a little to good to runaway from. I can go live with my dad if I want to, but that would require switching school and going through a whole bunch of paper work. I was on the verge of moving to my dad's once, and THEN my mom told me she didn't want me to leave. Even though I new my step dad did. Which is another EXTREME reason as to why I want to get out of that house; the step dad. Sometimes I wish everything could just go back to the way it was. When everything was good and everyone loved each other, you know? I'm sure everyone wishes for something like that in their lives. I just want things to be different. I love my step dad, don't get me wrong, but I just dont respect the way he treats me, my brother, and my mom sometimes. Sometimes I feel I need a new life.


[[Sorry I just had to rant there for a second.]]

Friday, February 12, 2010


I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would make this post to update you on what's going on in my life. As you know I'm learning Japanese and it's coming along great[: I really love it. Everytime I learn something new I get a little happy feeling and I dance for joy. (Not really, but I do get happy.)

I just bought some thin mint cookies, I love girl scout cookies, they are amazing. My favorite are the thin mints and the lemon ones. I don't like ones with carmel or coconut. What are your favorite kinds?

I need to call my guitar instructor and schedule another date to meet and practice, I think I'm starting to get lazy. D: Not gooood. I need to pick up the slack or I won't be able to do this.


Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Snow is covering the ground here in Virginia, it's very beautiful, but hard to get around in. Cars are getting stuck everywhere. Hopefully that doesn't happen to me while I try to go home today. Everyone here talks about how much they hate snow, but I love it so much. Sure it stops you from going anywhere but I think that's what makes it so great. People need to slow down anyway, everyones always in a rush. When it doesn't snow people complain about how we don't get it enough, and when it does they complain about it, it's so irratating. But I love snow, it's so beautiful.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

New Blog.

I have new blog[:
Called Invisible Innocence.
Go check it out.
You can also find it at.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

On and Off

So lately I haven't been feeling right, not sick like, but more so depressed. It just seems like everything that is going on around me is moving so fast and I'm being left behind. Sometimes when I'm sitting in class, not really doing anything I'll feel this sad feeling come over me. I'm not really sure why, but during that time I tend to just think about the negatives in my life, and I start to put myself down. It doesn't seem like anything serious because 5 or 10 minutes later I'll start to feel okay again, but it soon returns. I don't fully understand what's going on or why, but this has been happening a lot lately, and it used to never happen. It's really starting to bother me. I think about how no one is taking me seriously when it comes to my plans for the future and my life goal, it seems like they are all laughing in my face, and that's one thing I do not appreciate. This has led to me getting less and less sleep, which leads to me not focusing in school, which is definitely not a good thing. I've come to wonder if maybe this is just a stage I'm going through, but if so, then it doesn't seem like a normal one. I'm trying to focus on my guitar and drum lessons, and I'm getting excited for that, but at the same time I can't fully put my all into it and it's driving me insane. I've tried talking to some people about it but they just laugh or don't understand. I don't know what I'm going through, that keeps going on and off but I hope it ends soon. I really need it to.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


So I ended up getting guitar lessons. Long story, let me try and make it short.

So I went in and told him I was interested in taking drum lessons. He asked me if I played any other instruments, and I told him that I have a guitar but I don't use it very often. So he handed my his guitar and told me to play a few strings, and I did. Then he put my on the drums and let me mess around with that some. Finally when we were done he said I was very strong on both instruments, he seemed to be impressed, (which is good).

We started talking some more about my plans for the future and how to get started. He told me that it would be more practical to just go ahead and take guitar lessons since I already have the guitar, and in a couple of months I could take up drum lessons, (which I am doing). Another reason why I should start off with guitar is because I would have to rent my drum set, and I really have no place to put it as of yet. I'll eventually find room. (:

All I can say is that I'm extremely excited and ready for any challenges that comes my way.


Friday, January 22, 2010


I finally get to start my drum lessons today. Or at least I get to go in and talk to someone about them. I'm so excited, I can't even describe it. No one would understand how stoked I am about this. I'm going to try my hardest.

As one of my favorite drummers Kai said, "To me, drummers need to stay calm no matter what. They need to stay in control." And I am going to try my hardest to live up to that, I want to be the greatest drummer I can be.

If I work hard on this and get enough support then I feel like I can do it.

Besides all of that, I believe I've been a little obsessed over a few bands, and I need to calm down. Ha. Half of the bands I'm in love with I will most likely never get to meet, considering they live very far away, and I'm not talking about across the country, I'm talking about all the way around the world, yes that's right Tokyo, Japan. Well that and Kanagawa, Japan. I want to go to both of those places so bad, but silly me, I'm terrified of planes. I'm such a wimp. Does anyone know how to get over your fear? I don't really think that's possible haha, I'll just need to take something to calm me down if I ever get on a plane, and once I'm on I'll need to take a sleeping pill or else I'll probably be crying the whole time.

I'm extremely tired, we didn't have school today due to the weather, so I've been home all day watching "Dogfights" on the History channel and CSI Miami on A&E, I love marathons. Ha.


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Does anyone else find this as funny as I do?

I don't know about you guys, but I was left laughing on my floor crying my eyes out for 30 minutes, over one simple commercial. And here it is...

Drum Lessons.

Starting tomorrow I'll be taking drum lessons. I'll try to keep you updated as much as possible on how I'm doing. I have wanted to take guitar lessons as well, considering I now have quite a lovely guitar, but it didn't seem to work out. So I will be taking lessons on the side from my friends who can play guitar.

The only problem is that when I rent my drum set, I will have absolutely no place to put it, there is no room in my bedroom, and no room downstairs. All of the rooms in my house are occupied, considering I have a small house. Hopefully the studio I'm taking lessons in will allow me to keep the set there.

I've been wanting learn guitar for quite some time now, but I never got around to actually learning. I mean when I'm upstairs in my room and I have free time I'll grab my guitar and learn some tabs and play a little, even though I have no idea what I'm doing. Ha.

When I start to play drums I going to put my all into it. My brother has been playing the drums since he was in middle school. I'm going to be completely honest. I haven't really learned anything from him, considering I have never really been around him while he's playing. I've heard him play here and there but not actually play a song with his band. I'm hoping that once I get better at the drums and practice my brother and I could get together and go over a few things with each other, it would be amazing if I got his support as well. Not saying I don't already have it ;).

I'm super excited about getting my band together as well. Even though some things aren't working out, my best friend Britt and I have been wanting to get a band together for quite some time. Britt plays bass and since I'm finally learning the drums we can finally get started on it. So for now we have a bassist and a drummer (us two). But some things aren't working out for our vocalist and our guitarist. I always new starting a band was difficult, just not drastically difficult. If only things weren't this hard.

So obviously we need a guitarist (2 if possible) and a vocalist. I'm not saying that we have lost our guitarist and vocalist but between all of us there is just way too much tension. I'm not going to put up with it, this is my dream and I'm not going to let drama get in the way. Britt and I want this more than anything, 3 years we've been working for this, and now that it's finally possible, something always has to stand in the way. I know I can do this and I'm going to. I just need support, and a lot of it. :D

We'll make it, I know we will.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What do you do when?

What do you do when you asked/promised someone something, then forgot and asked/promised someone else the same thing? What do you do then?


Friday, January 8, 2010

Visual Kei // Jrock

Visual Kei and Jrock is my style, and yes many people think it's weird/different. What they don't understand is that it's supposed to be. When I walk into school wearing 10,000 necklaces, different colored fingernails, 20 rings, rainbow colored clothes, crazy hair, and heavy make-up, I could CARE LESS if people stare at me like I'm insane, because in all honesty I am ;D // Lately I haven't been able to do all of that because my hair has grown out so it's much harder to style it, and for the clothes I don't have clothes that go with Visual Kei that still fit me, I need to go shopping!

Visual Kei is my life. Visual Kei bands put so much effort and energy into their music and performances it's hard not to like them. Whether you are watching a live performance off of youtube, or actually seeing them live you can tell that they put 110% into their songs. Here in the U.S many people would agree that some of our "stars" cannot sing at all, and that they have their voice covered by a computer, whether it's a pop star or a rocker. In Japan it's completely different. I'm not entirely sure if Jpop singers use computers to 'fix' their voice or not, but in Japan, record companies choose Visual Kei bands that can actually play, and where the vocalist can actually sing. The way they put 110% into their live's just makes them even more amazing and beautiful. Their songs all hold meaning. Please check them out.

More on Visual Kei


--the GazettE--

the GazettE is a mainstream band that has made is far in the Visual Kei movement, they are one of my top favorites. Their style and their music are simply amazing. They care so much about their fans. They are down to earth and don't let anything they do go to their heads. Their style is completely amazing. They have many different styles, most of them all something crazy. Something I wanna be able to pull off.

Many people do not like the style because it's too bold, or too loud. You need to understand that it's supposed to be that way. It really grabs their fans attention and thats what you want to do when you're in a band correct? Many people think I'm weird and different or completely insane JUST because I like Visual Kei bands. I honestly don't care, it's who I am and I'm not changing. Visual Kei is a great style and I don't think anything could be any better.

--alice nine.--

alice nine. is a popular Visual Kei rock band that focuses on their work. They love their fans and give 110% during Lives. I first got into them when they caught my attention with the song "RAINBOWS". If you listen to this band I guarentee you'll instantly be hooked.

There are many more bands that I love such as, girugamesh, SuG, SiD, An Cafe, Matenrou Opera, X Japan, and Miyavi. They've changed my life. Just because Visual Kei bands have a loud and exicting style does not mean you should judge them based on their look. They are people as well and they are just like us.


Thursday, January 7, 2010


Working sucks but you need to make money, correct?



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